Missing Dad...

Not sure of any other picture of just me and my dad but this is as close as I can get. I miss him. I know I wrote a wonderful story that I read at his funeral but I have no idea where it is now. If any of my family has it, would you please send it to me? I'd like it to have and to post here.

Love you dad,
your little girl.

Remembering Alex

Today would have been Alex' 67th birthday. Today I would like to write some things about him that made him the person he was.

When the kids would come home from school he would asked them how school was and they would say "fine" and then he would ask them "what did you find."

When John said he as going to fix potatoes O'Brien for breakfast he would say, "potatoes for Brian?"

When somebody called on the phone he would say "Go ahead it's your dime."

And when he called somebody, he would "Jello, this is the fruitcake." Or, I tried to call but the line was busy."

Whenever I called him on the phone he would say "Hi Cutie." or "Howdy Doodey."

Sometimes he called me Emma Lu or Eba Kay
He called John Ocho
He called Matt Mathusala
Tammy was Tomasa

I am sure he had names for the other kids and they probably remember what they were but I don't.

He was a very giving person, going all out for Christmas, birthdays and holidays. He always sent me flowers, candy or something to my work when there was a special occasion.

He could fix most anything and could build almost anything. And you could always count on him to help out. He loved his garden and working with the soil. He loved the mornings watching the sun come up and smell of the earth on a Spring morning.

He had faults but all of us do. His biggest fault was not taking care of himself. He would probably be alive today if had of taken care of himself as well as he did others. I don't know where he is, but I know that with all his faults he is in a better place than here and is being rewarded for all he has done while on this earth.

Time and Space and Eternity

As I get older, time goes by way too fast. There is so much we as humans don't know or understand. Even science and the most brilliant minds have not been able to answer the question of where we came from, how the universe was made or where we are going after death. We as humans have only been on the earth for but a speck of time. For billions of years, men did not live here. Our life on this Earth is but a wrinkle in time. A speck divided by many other specks. We are really insignificant when it comes to time. And our lifespan is so short that by the standard of time we really aren't
really on earth long enough to even make a statement.

It does seem strange however, that God would put us here on this Earth and then just let our light die out when we die. Some people have had near death experiences but nobody that has been really dead has come back to tell us what lies beyond. Near death experiences can be explained away by a person being in an altered state due to loss of oxygen or on drugs. Whether you believe in near death experiences or not, there is still no proof that establishes that those experiences existed.

After Alex died, I felt his spirit for about a year after his death. I swear that he even turned on lights, knocked on doors and came to me near my bedside during the night. Now I know longer feel his presence. Perhaps I just imagined him to be near me after his death because I was so alone. This happens to many people after a loved dies I know. If it is just our imagination, do we also make up God because we don't want to be alone in this life? Atheists and Agnostics will say we do. I believe however, there has been too much proof that God really exist.

If a signal can make a cell phone work or send signals to a TV, signals we can't see, then perhaps spirits in heaven can send signals too. When you come to think of it, life is a really a miracle. I am blown away by the fact that they can even get signals way out in space and find out where rockets are. It took until the 20th century to get this all this technology. Why it took so long is not known but maybe God wanted to wait until now because He has more plans for us He will let us know more mysteries in due time.

Religion tries to answer these questions but they do not fit into any scientific study or proof. What I choose to believe is that time always was and will always be. God did not create the world in 6 days; that is only a metaphor; this world is a at least 4.5 billions years old. We know that from science. We know that there is evolution. There is no doubt of it because we have proof through fossils and rocks.

To me, God is the master of all and He created evolution by natural selection. Adam and Eve could not been the first humans on Earth. They are just used as an example. Science have found many human remains that would have had to be way before Adam and Eve. I believe the story of Adam and Eve was just a story, used by God as an example.

There are so many mysteries of life and death and hopefully God will show us the whole truth someday. For me, I just know that there has to have been a blueprint for everything that we have, the universe, life, death, planets and purpose, etc. and even though science has proved many things, they have not proved how all of this happened without some intelligence of things way beyond our realization have happened.

So we as humans really live a very strange life, not knowing for sure what the future will bring or when we will die and where exactly where did we come from. We just need to believe that God will answer these question in time in His time. Right now it all comes down to faith and of knowledge. Faith is good but it must have some knowledge and proof to go along with it. We can't let blind faith lead us in the wrong direction. False prophets can come along and mislead you. Find your own beliefs through study, knowledge, prayer and faith. If the bible says the earth is only 6000 years old, science can prove that is not so. We must realize that what God says is His time not ours. Faith for all its good, must be grounded in proof.