"I want some Wah Wah Lemon!"

You'll always remember what funny things kids say. For my brother I specifically remember the food items, "wah wah lemon" for watermelon, "your-gut" for yogurt, and "sanyo" for sandwich. It's Matt's birthday today.

Matt will always be my big little brother. After all his nickname is Biggins. He's a pretty big dude, could be a football player if you asked me.

I remember the big mole he had smack dab in the middle of his belly, the time he came home from the hospital after surgery when he was only 2 or 3, and how his heart sounds - swish swash swish swash. I remember how mad I got after finding that he had colored on my doll with yellow crayon. And most of all how I remember how he loved to play with balls and water. "Ah ah ah ah ah" was the way he used to laugh.

I admit for a while I was jealous of him. After all I was the baby of the family for almost 9 years, so why was he so special all of a sudden? How come he never had to have hand me downs or leftover toys from the other kids? How come he got a new bike and a trampoline and all to himself nonetheless? But who could deny that cute little boy! Glad I got over that. I think he sometimes feels like he missed out though since he practically grew up as an only child.

I remember babysitting him in the mornings for one summer and he would lie there in the mornings on the front room floor with his Big Bird "blangie" and watch Today's Special. Yes it was public programming and we did not have cable TV yet. The next year is when we did get cable TV and he and I loved watching Disney cartoons and thought we were the coolest on the block.

I can't believe he's already 29 years old. Time flies by! I remember hanging out with him a lot when we were both single. It was a lot of fun to go to movies and just be ourselves together and to watch him have "buzzard's playtime" with my boys. They needed a big brother after all they went through and I can never thank him enough for that.

Matt has always been very caring with a warm heart. He does not let anything bother him and chooses to love everyone around him regardless of their faults. Guess that is why I thought it would be cool to introduce him to his wife. What's not to love? He's just a big sweet teddy bear. I did it when he was 3 and took "wedding" pictures of him and the next door neighbor girl named Tia, so what was wrong with doing it again?

Have a happy birthday Matt, make it a great one. After all it is your last year of your 20's. Next year you will be all growed up!

New Mexico, Home of Alex' Birth

Hoping the Negative Can Become Positive

This past week there has been a lot of negativity in our family. I feel there is no one person that is to blame but all of us for not communicating and praying for God's spirit to be with us. So I have been praying daily and I will ask Him for the spirit to be me. Then maybe I will able to have His spirit with me before I speak or make judgements. If all of us would have had the spirit with us, things would have been much different.

I do pray that the negative astmosphere that has been a part of our lives for some time, even though we really didn't see it this way, will be resolved.

Sometimes negative forces can make a person re-evaluate their lives and then there they can be more open to communication. It's kind of sad that it takes such negativity to open our eyes. I do hope that we can be more spiritual in the future and that it won't take all this negitivity to get us back to communicating and to be a loving family again.

Because of all that has happened, this may take some time. But I shall pray everyday and make it my goal to do so. Of course a lot of it has to do with others and I bear no grudge against anyone and do hope that all of us can start walking in the light again.

This is my prayer.

Our Family

We need to all try to get along together.

Ocho is not Old!

My oldest brother turns 42 today. Divide that by 8 (ocho) and that makes him 5 and 1/4 years. Not sure where the nickname Ocho came from but it fits. The expression Ocho is old is even more complex. I don't think I was around when this occurred. It was probably one of Dad's nicknames. Sounds like to me anyway.

John has always been good spirited and strong willed. He knows what he likes and dislikes and he isn't afraid to tell you. John and I have shared a lot of similarities.

We both indulged in smoking and drinking in our underage years, but he was never "indulgent" like I was and did things at a much smarter level than I did. He stopped when he knew it did not agree with him. He worried what others thought for him doing it.

We have both had mental breakdowns and neither of us will forget it.

John is usually on a mental high - his brains always working, processing. I feel I have a lot of this going on as well only my thinking is all to myself. And the things he remembers! Things like you cannot believe!

I always gave myself the credit that it was me who encouraged him to not be fearful of his bike. I guess I do cause I remember he learned the same day I did. He tried to drive a couple of times but realized it wasn't for him. I'm proud of him for trying.

John was always nice to me growing up. I would often ask to use his Fisher Price toys to go play in the back with. I especially remember using his camper with the little boat that fit so cute on top. Toys are not the same are they? He let me play with the Weeble Wobbles too. He was and still is a very trusting person.

We also enjoyed watching re-runs of Muppet Show and Sesame Street together. Mornings of the Flintstones and Jetsons we'd watch together. I caught him a few times watching these reruns even we were older. I used to get mad at him for it thinking he needed to grow up. Why did I care?

I can still remember the smell of our Christmas tree. You know, the smell from the lights warming the garland? And there he would be switching around all the green ones. His favorite color was green. One year he was the only one that chose right from wrong out of us kids when we decided to throw the ornaments into the air to see where they would land on the tree limbs. I didn't understand why he didn't get spanked that night.

I remember counting all the hydrants and what ones were green and what ones were red and just repeating the word, "Hydrant" everytime we saw one when we drove down the road. It was a lot of fun.

I never thought of him as my big brother or the oldest, just thought of him as my friend. *smile*

Happy Birthday John! Go have a great time! You are only as old as you feel and I know you, you will be a kid at heart forever!

That's Marty for Ya

Today my brother turns 39. He has always been 2 years, 2 months, and 4 days older than me. I don't remember having too much of a relationship with him as kids other than we would watch the last 10 minutes of Dukes of Hazard together to ensure I didn't miss Wonder Woman that aired directly after. Eventually I started to like Dukes of Hazard myself and ended up watching it with him every day after school.

I know he hated sharing his birthdays. He and John always got the same clothes, toys, cake, etc. But that is how it went and personally I thought it would have been fun to have a party together with someone. He loves kitties, and I still remember the day I caught him and his friend Chad once burying them up to their heads in our garden. I was so appalled I'm sure I tattle told on him. I remember mom telling me not to vacuum in his and John's room. I guess there was too many nuts and bolts on the floor and she didn't want me to ruin the vacuum on account of it.

I don't remember him much attending elementary school with me other than I think I got the same 6th grade teacher as he did. I do remember being excited to attend my first year in high school with him cause I was so nervous about not having any friends. I remember how cool I thought I was to get a ride in his shiny red truck. One time when we were going out of the parking lot at BINGO I hadn't closed the door too tight and my little brother, Matt, almost fell out. But it was an old truck and I was a teeny bopper with jiggly arms. What do you expect? I was so sad when that truck got totaled. :( I also wanted a denim jacket and leather shoes like he did. I eventually got some too. I think I spent many days hanging out with him and his buddies from then on. My best friend and I had grown apart and he was there to fill the void.

My brother liked to tease me a lot when I became a teenager. Just like my dad. He still does, but unlike my dad Marty can be relentless sometimes. I think he had many names for me such as cream puff or typical seventh grader. I don't remember them all. I felt bad many times about it, but didn't let it bother me. I realized it was more for his amusement than to hurt me and he was a big brother so what do you expect? He made me so angry one day and I can't even remember what for, but because of it I squirted a whole bottle of ketchup on him. Just afterward I held my breath and thought he was going to flip out and kill me but he just walked away. Boy was I relieved. Squeezing the bottle of ketchup helped ease some of the stress as well. Oooh he used to make me mad though! Now it just makes me laugh when I think about it. He still loves to tease. He loves to squeeze us and make silly jokes. I wonder if he can still gleek?

Even though he treated me mostly like a brother would to his pesky little sister, Marty has always been there for me. He has done so much for me. Fixed my cars, offered to take care of my boys during a bad turn in my life, gave me advice, and even gave me blessings when I needed them. He even threatened Charlie to take care of me. If that is not a brother I don't know what is.

I hope that deep down Marty knows that no matter what the family on his side loves him too and that he means a lot to us. Sure our family doesn't always have that warm fuzzy feeling inside like the ideal family would, but we are not "card board cut outs" meant to all agree on the same things. We are a diverse family but we don't let it get us down.

So Marty I hope someday you read this and that you have a wonderful birthday today with those that you love. I don't think you check my spot out any longer cause I never hear from you guys, but there is always hope. Enjoy your last year of past 3 decades in your life and plan what you want to accomplish for the next one!