Death is part of our Family History

As I write in here today, history has changed in this family yet again. My special best friend and husband Randy has died. There has been so many deaths in our family. My dad's mother, My Grandmother Kate Johnson died in Jan 1950 at 60 years of age of heart problems. I don't remember her only that she had white hair in a bun. I was sick at my Grandma Sander's home during her death and funeral.


The first real death that I recall was Great Grandpa Brady in 1952. I was only 8 so it didn't affect me too much. It was the custom to put the bodies in the family home until time for them to go to the church. I just remember his lying there in the open casket and all kinds of people coming in and out of my Grandma Sanders house. He was staying with her when he died. He had a good long life. I think he was 89. But he spent most of it in his wheel chair because of a bad hip injury years earlier. He had a very large family and his wife preceded him in death. His children took turns taking care of him.

My excitement at that time was all the goodies and cakes and things that people brought for us to eat. It was the same with my grandpa Sanders. He died when I was 12 and he moved around jobs so much I hardly knew him. He was a quiet man. He died at only 56 on March 11, 1956. He had bad lungs.

The first death that effected me and it really did, was my cousin Bessie in 1961. She was only 16 and my favorite cousin. She had scoliosis and they were trying to straighten her back by putting her in a body cast after surgery for 12 months. After the year was over they removed the cast and she was excited to see if she could walk straight but they had not given her enough blood thinners or something and a clot formed. It rose to her brain killing her instantly. Her viewing, unlike the grandfather's was in a mortuary. She looked like an angel from heaven. I was affected by her death for many years and still it sometimes haunts me.

In 1972 my Dad's father passed away at 83. I did not know him well. We did not visit my father's parents much. They were a little odd and farmerish. I remember him having  beautiful white hair, blue eyes and a toothpick in his mouth and wearing chambray shirts. He was old and had some kind of stomach cancer when he died. He had converted to Jehovah Witness and had remarried. I remember that funeral but with little emotion.

There have been other deaths. My husband's father in 1976 at 72 from heart failure, his younger brother from an accident at work in 1978 at age 24. Then his mother in 1991 at age 80 from diabetes and Alzheimer's.  Then in 1996, Alex favorite brother died from colon cancer. He was the life of the party and I loved him as my own brother. He was only 46 and died May 1996.

Then my beloved grandmother who was so very special to me passed on January 24, 1993.  She was near 92. I miss her very much to this day. She was always so kind to me but a little preachy about religion.

My mother had been ill for years and years but nothing fatal. Finally in Feb of 2003, she got an intestinal blockage which caused aspiration pneumonia. The pneumonia would not clear up and they had to put a breathing tube down her. They removed the breathing tube from her throat after about 5 days and she passed on Feb 19, 2003. She had been in so much pain I am sure it was a blessing for her but a big loss for us and I suffered a very bad break down in which I could not stop crying for weeks and was under the care of a DR. I myself had suffered many physical problems prior to my mother's death. My mother was a wonderful person always making cute dresses for my girls and teaching me how to can and be a good mother and housewife. I was finally recovering when my father was found dead in his chair on a Sunday afternoon when he was supposed to have come to our home for dinner. My son went to check on him and he seemed so peaceful just lying in his chair as if asleep with his dog near by. He probably died of a heart problem coupled with his bad kidney failure but I really think he died because he was my mother's caretaker and did not know what to do now that his job was over. He was deaf and it was hard to make new friends. I miss him. He did so much for us and was such a loving father. He was 83 and he died on Sept 13, 2003.

I was working then and fighting depression and problems with one of my siblings over my parents estate. It was all I could do to keep it together and it was by pure will and a greater power that let me go on. But then as if nothing else could get worse, my own husband Alex, was found dead on the floor face down on  Friday, April 9, (Good Friday, not good for me) 2004. His sleep apnea and heart killed him. For months I went to counseling, people at work treated me strange. I was still working on my parents estate and Alex's things and I was sleepwalking through life. I finally went to part time during my work. I tried to make life more enjoyable by going places with my girls. I went on couple of cruises and vacations. I was managing OK. I went on a trip with Tammy and her family and it was fun.

I got fast Internet and met Randy Minor online. I needed attention I guess and was spent hours online chatting and hours on the phone. We fell in love that way. I had extra airline miles so I visited him in AZ and was it was then we really fell in love. He decided to move here with me and I drove myself all the way to Mesa AZ and I have never been more confidant in my life. We had 5 wonderful years together. Our favorite being camping and road trips traveling to visit my kids whom he loved with all his heart. In March we finally got a motor home, Randy wanted one of these forever and he was crying he was so grateful. But in April 2012 he was not well and the diagnosis turned out to be MDS a type of leukemia. He got treatment early but it did not work and he quickly spiraled downward and on Sept 17, 2012 he died. He suffered many days in pain, fear and confusion and lost his mind several days at a time especially at the end. He was really not himself for at least 4 months. He kept falling out of bed and finally when brought home from the nursing home where he stayed a few days, he was peacefully in his own bed here at home where he died peacefully the next day. Everyone told him goodbye but he could not talk but I am sure he heard. His wish was to be cremated and sent to the mountains with his dog Duchess. His wish has been fulfilled. We also gave him a wonderful memorial and wake. I hope his real family (other than Terri) knows that somebody did care. Whatever he did to make him hurt them so I am truly sorry.  And I hope nobody judges them like they have judged him. His sister Terri has been his and my angel through this whole process and as for the others, I have no hard feelings for you; I don't know how he treated you and can't judge you, but know that he had changed and he had thought of you often and always hoped someday you might at least drop him a line or call.